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The Richer Sex.

15 Mar

I haven’t read the article yet, but a former colleague did send over a snippet for me:

“TIME cover, “The Richer $ex: Women are overtaking men as America’s breadwinners. Why that’s good for everyone,” by Liza Mundy (Adapted from the forthcoming book, “The Richer Sex: How the new majority of female breadwinners is transforming sex, love, and family,” by Liza Mundy, to be published Tuesday by Simon & Schuster; edited by Priscilla Painton): “[B]y the next generation, more families will be supported by women than by men. Not since women entered the workforce by the millions after World War II has America witnessed economic change on this scale. … In 2009, … nearly 4 in 10 working wives out-earned their husbands … The impact will be felt everywhere, from the classroom to the boardroom to the bedroom, in how men and women work, play, shop, vote, save and share and court …

“[S]ome academics and women’s-rights advocates talk about a stalled revolution and warn that a premature declaration of victory will reduce pressure on workplaces to improve pay and working conditions. … Married women … go to great lengths to praise their stay-at-home husbands … A wife talks about her husband’s blog as if it were a book project. Heavy meals and showy cooking are gratefully received and complimented, even as many women secretly long for a simple meal of steamed vegetables. Time with kids, the coaching, the homework help is exalted. The message: The ability to generate income is not the only measure of value.” 

First of all, can someone teach me to make an origami woman out of money?  Second of all, this is incredible.  I’m very excited to read the full article, and especially to read about the varying viewpoints.  With more women completing undergraduate, masters degrees and PhDs, I’m not too surprised that the “flip” in breadwinning is coming.  More and more in the city, I see men outside pushing strollers (ever so proudly might I add) during the day, and I sometimes wonder and ask myself whether they are stay-at-home dad’s, on paternity leave, taking a day off of work, or do they just work from home?  Who knows, but it makes me smile when I see that father pushing the stroller with his chest puffed out, smile on his face, and looking around to see how many people are watching him with his pride and joy.  I think the author is right, and if a couple can find a perfect balance between bread and baby, no matter the sex, then that’s better for everyone.

50 Best Moments for Women in 2011

4 Jan

H/T to my friend Laura for sending HuffPo’s article about the 50 Best Moments in 2011 for Women.  It is definitely a great way to reflect on 2011 by looking at some of the positives that have happened for women throughout the year.  I thought I’d take a second to highlight some of my  personal favorites:

  1. “The release of the new documentary ‘MissRepresentation’ makes everyone who thinks they’ve heard it before refocus on how badly the media depicts women — and how we can change that.”
  2. “When the announcer called the name of the first nominee for Best Actress in a Comedy at the 2011 Emmy Awards, Amy Poehler, instead of smiling at the camera from her seat, charged onto the stage … and every other nominee did, too. Before the winner was even announced, Poehler, Melissa McCarthy (the ultimate winner), Tina Fey, Edie Falco, Laura Linney and Martha Plimpton held hands tightly in beauty pageant fashion, making even an award for best comedian into a spoof — and proving their extraordinary talent (yet again) in the process.”
  3. “After years of objections from women’s rights advocates, the FBI advisory board recommends a broader definition of rape. Currently defined by the agency as “carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will” — wording composed in 1929 — the board votes to change the terminology to “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim,” which notably doesn’t include the word “forcible.” It’s now up to FBI Director Robert Mueller to sign off on the decision.”
  4. “The comedy women and bridal attendants everywhere have been waiting for: “Bridesmaids” pulls no punches in portraying all of the regrettable situations a single woman can get herself into. Wiig’s script has her and the rest of the stellar cast (Maya Rudolph as the bride, Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne, Ellie Kemper and Wendi McLendon-Covey as fellow bridesmaids) vomiting and discussing other bodily functions in a way not usually seen in comedies starring women, and the result is brilliant and hilarious — the ultimate antidote to schlock like “27 Dresses.” As several critics pointed out, female comedians have been capable of making a movie like this all along – it’s only now that someone let them.”
  5. “After an Iowa town hall meeting in which Mitt Romney seemed not to understand a question about the Mississippi “personhood” amendment, which opponents feared could lead to a ban on oral contraceptives, Rachel Maddow spends a segment of her show explaining to Romney how the female reproductive system and birth control work — against a “man cave” background.”
  6. “Per the Affordable Care Act, all health insurance policies issued after January 1, 2013 must cover birth control — with no copays. The same provisions will cover breast pumps for nursing mothers, domestic violence counseling and a number of other women’s health services. What took them so long?”
  7. “In a Toys”R”Us store in Albany, N.Y., 4-year-old Riley Maida just can’t take it anymore and lets loose a frighteningly articulate rant about toy marketers targeting kids by gender. “Why do all the girls have to buy princesses? Some girls like superheroes, some girls like princesses,” she says, reasonably. “Some boys like superheroes, some boys like princesses. So why does all the girls have to buy pink stuff and all the boys have to buy different color stuff?”

Lessons From a Taxi Driver

6 Oct

So yesterday while I was in a taxi, the driver struck up a very fun, yet interesting conversation.  He first mentioned that he’d lived in Washington all his life, and unlike many other DC taxi drivers, he knew DC inside and out.  We spoke about the city, the people, and the restaurants and then he told me he could tell I was a lobbyist and not a lawyer, because supposedly all the DC lobbyists are very friendly taxi passengers and the lawyers…apparently not so much, haha.

So, one comment that he said that kind of shocked me:

“It’s great to be a woman in DC.  You women make lots of money.”

Say whaaaaaaaaaa?  I want to know his sources!  I also mentioned that “a lot of money” in DC doesn’t go that far the way rent and cost of living are around here.

But anyways, I want to know his reasoning for this statement!  From acquaintances and connections within the city, I have uncovered a pay discrimination in DC that is relative to the pay discrimination women face as a whole across the nation.

Maybe he is comparing the many more female faces we see leading nonprofits in the DC area, compared to the lack of female faces leading…say…Wall Street banks?

I’m not sure, but I think I should look into this further…maybe the taxi driver is on to something…

NEWS ALERT- Saudi Women Granted Right to Vote

26 Sep

Over the weekend, King Abdullah granted women the right to vote in Saudi Arabia, a country where women are not allowed to drive or stand in the same line as men in public.  This is a huge step and a huge sign of the potential direction our world could go in terms of gender equality.

However, while we celebrate these women now being able to participate in the political process, we can’t forget that this is just one element of gender equality.  These women are still not allowed to drive (how will they get to the polls?), they are still oppressed through the inability to work various jobs, go to certain schools, or even sit in the same restaurant that men do.

While we take a moment to celebrate, we must also continue to spread the word of gender inequalities and continue to work towards a world where all humans are equal.

See Al Jazeera coverage below:

Taking His Last Name

18 Aug

As some of my readers may know, I recently got engaged this summer to my wonderful fiancé :) .  Besides the most popular question I’ve been asked (“When’s the big day?!”), my friends that know the feminist side of me have been asking, “so are you going to keep your last name, or take his?”  In fact, during a weekend with my best friends from high school, they all said they had agreed and wagered that I would keep my own last name…

Well, it’s something I’ve thought a lot about, and have actually had a few discussions with the soon-to-be hubby.  It’s an extremely big decision to make, and I want to make sure I’m making it for all of the right reasons.

On one hand, my last name is my heritage, my family, my connection to years of history, butchers (salami), mispronunciations, “salsa”, and has been a part of me since birth…but on the other hand, his last name is his family, his heritage, etc. etc. etc.

As a young feminist growing up, I always asked myself, “Well, why does the GIRL have to give up her last name?”  During the women’s suffrage movement, the lovely Lucy Stone popularized the idea of women standing up for themselves and keeping their last name.  The idea grew quite popular duing the women’s rights movement in the 70′s, resulting in roughly a fifth of all married women keeping their own last name.

In this new day and age, I’ve read stories of couples either combining their two last names to make an original one (unfortunately my last name doesn’t mix well with much! haha), and stories of couples hyphenating their names together, (but I always felt bad for those kids in second grade who had extremely long last names to write out in cursive.)

Taking on your man’s last name, in my opinion, shows your commitment and proud desire to be a part of a new family.  It doesn’t necessarily mean you are bowing out of your feminist beliefs.  Looking to women like Hilary Rodham Clinton, and my future mother-in-law, I’m leaning towards the idea of legally changing my middle name to be my maiden name, and taking on his last name…  #BigGirlDecisions.

Another political sex scandal…surprise surprise it’s a CongressMAN.

13 Jun

As the “Weinergate” scandal unfolded over the course of the last two weeks, I couldn’t help but think, how many of these politicians DON’T engage in inappropriate sexual conduct?

It seems that every other month, I open the paper to yet another MALE politician engaging in some kind of sex scandal.  (Ensign, Vitter, Massa, Spitzer, Edwards, Schwarzenegger…etc.) What is it with these men?!

So, I started asking people why they thought men politicians are always the ones involved in these sex scandals, and not female politicians?  I started with my boyfriend, then my colleagues (both male and female), and then some close friends.  All gave somewhat similar answers and mostly agreed that it had a lot to do with the power politicians have, and that ravenous hunger for more.

So I started thinking, do women just not care about power?  I like power.  I like leading people, having people count on me, being in charge, being in a position to make a difference, having people know who I am and like who I am, etc.  You can ask my mother if you think I’m kidding ;)  So is it really just the power trip?

One friend told me, “well women cheat too, they are just smarter and better at not getting caught.”  Maybe that’s a valid point, but the numbers just don’t seem to add up for that to be the one solid reason.  (For the record, tweeting a picture of your junk off of your official Twitter page is NOT SMART.)

Well, then I read this NYT piece over the weekend and I think it raises a VERY valid point, that may be an answer to the question:

Research points to a substantial gender gap in the way women and men approach running for office. Women have different reasons for running, are more reluctant to do so and, because there are so few of them in politics, are acutely aware of the scrutiny they draw — all of which seems to lead to differences in the way they handle their jobs once elected.

“The shorthand of it is that women run for office to do something, and men run for office to be somebody,” said Debbie Walsh, director of the Center for American Women and Politics at Rutgers University. “Women run because there is some public issue that they care about, some change they want to make, some issue that is a priority for them, and men tend to run for office because they see this as a career path.”

“I have no hard evidence that women are less likely to engage in risky or somewhat stupid behavior,” Ms. Pearson said. “But women in Congress are still really in a situation where they have to prove themselves to their male colleagues and constituents. There’s sort of this extra level of seriousness.”

And voters demand it. Celinda Lake, a Democratic strategist, says female politicians are punished more harshly than men for misbehavior. “When voters find out men have ethics and honesty issues, they say, ‘Well, I expected that,’ “  Ms. Lake said. “When they find out it’s a woman, they say, ‘I thought she was better than that.’ “

Is Fidette smarter than Fido?

6 May

Came across this interesting article on the Discovery Channel about female dog v. male dog thought process.

According to the article, female dogs performed better than males in an experiment to test whether the dogs would notice a ball that inexplicably grew or shrank.

One of the tests: a tennis ball-sized ball would roll behind a screen, and after a short wait, a larger ball would appear on the other side.

“When the ball was a different size after emerging from the screen, female dogs stared at it longer than they did a ball of the expected size, an indication to Müller and his colleagues that the females had noticed something amiss. In contrast, male dogs looked at the surprising ball and the ball of the expected size for similar amounts of time…

The researchers can’t tell if males really don’t perceive the difference, or do detect it but don’t care.”

This makes me think about when a woman gets her haircut, and it usually takes a guy about a week to notice.  According to the pups, either he doesn’t notice…or he just doesn’t care? Haha. Interesting…

Women ARE funny. We just don’t necessarily need to be.

19 Apr

I came across the chart below that shows the number of women who work as writers for the following “funny” TV celebrities.  I often hear people say “Well, there aren’t many female comedians, because women just aren’t as funny as men.”

I call bull****.  I’ve heard some pretty hilarious female comedians in my time so far, and I have some girlfriends who can really make a room laugh uncontrollably.

I also came across this relevant blog entry on WitStream, and I think the author makes a great point.  Females aren’t exactly encouraged to be funny from day one.  I also think it’s really interesting how she ties in the use of Twitter being an advantageous tool for women to show their funny side.

On top of women not really being encouraged to be funny, I think most of us don’t really see “being funny” as a necessary asset.  Sure, most men love a girl with a sense of humor.  But that usually translates to girls who laugh at HIS jokes, and his friends’ jokes…not the girl who steals the “funny” spotlight at the dinner party.  For you women out there that are funny (which is probably tons more than we know of) keep trucking and don’t get discouraged!

Forever 21…the store, not the age.

7 Apr

So I’m going to NYC this weekend for a friend’s birthday party, so I thought it might be an excuse for me to wonder into the 4-story “Forever 21″ store next to my office.

Being as this is one of my favorite stores (cool clothes, cheap prices), and its close proximity to my office, I consider myself to be semi-disciplined by only allowing myself to go in for “special occasions.”

As I wondered around, I thought to myself “Wow, no wonder women get a bad rap for taking FOREVER to shop.”  Is this why they call it Forever 21?  ”THIS STORE IS HUGE.  TRUST US. YOU’LL BE IN HERE FOREVER.”  There are 25 different racks…JUST for leggings,  about 20 different racks…just for plain colored tees, and then you have about 1,000 racks for everything else.

They have a men’s department, which takes up about 1/100th of the store.

As I prepare to color easter “eggs” tonight with my room mates, I’m having this “chicken or the egg?” kind of thinking when it comes to women and shopping for clothes.  Is it the copious amount of clothing items and stores out there that drive most of us females to shop, or is there a desire that most women are born with to shop and own copious amounts of clothing?

I’m not sure, but if anyone knows of some research out there that explains this in an academic or interesting way, I’d love to see it.

For now, I still like clothes…and Forever 21 is still an instigator.

Sotomayor Speaks Out About Sexist Questioning

10 Mar

In a National Journal article this week, Justice Sotomayor spoke out about the sexist questioning she received during her confirmation hearings for the US Supreme Court:

After pre-approved questions from two Northwestern University School of Law professors, she was most revealing during questioning from law students, especially when one woman suggested that the questioning Sotomayor and the most recent other appointee, Elena Kagan, faced was laden with male-driven assumptions.

“You know, and I don’t mean to be graphic, but one day after I’d been questioned endlessly, for weeks at a time, I was so frustrated by the minutiae of what I was being asked about and said to a friend, ‘I think they already know the color of my underwear,’” the justice said.

“There were private questions I was offended by. I was convinced they were not asking those questions of the male applicants,” Sotomayor said, alluding to questions about her dating habits.

“I wondered if they ever asked those questions of the male candidates. But the society has a double standard.”

Sotomayor,who is single, then cited her “many single male colleagues who are judges who date often, bring dates to court affairs and nobody ever talks about them. I knew if I did the same thing, my morals would be questioned.”

Just as Sotomayor states, the double standard is everywhere and especially in the working world.  It seems men get applauded when they show up to a function with a tall bombshell one night, and a different one the next.  High fives all around! But if women does that, I’m almost positive her colleagues would look down upon her.

I’ll ask again, where did this double standard originate, and what can be done to diminish it?  Is it in our genes?  Is it from what we watch on tv? Or read in comic strips that fuels the fire?

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